This may come off as strange, but the hottest blog of the week is goes to the Hawian Scott, www.mikezagorski.com.
This is an interesting one to follow. Check out the SRM downloads and compare them to yours or your friends. The man is living the dream, and has the following to show.
It has been widely reported that as of 2008, Dick Pound has stepped down from his position as Chairman of the World Anti-Doping Agency. Many interviews were published prior to his departure, but I was fortunate to spend some time with the Canadian recently as we waited for our flights at Denver International Airport. I now proudly offer the following vague recollection of one of Pound’s first post-WADA interviews, conducted over a few $7 Coors Lights at the Cowboy Bar in Concourse A.
Note: I’m not sure if it was the multiple beers or what but I found it somewhat odd that all of the responses to my questions came in the form of Homer Simpson quotes. I would not have envisioned Pound as a Simpson’s fan but you can see for yourself below:
Jeru: “I know this may be a sore subject but what are your thoughts on the defense strategy and evidence employed by Floyd Landis and his legal team? Do you have any thoughts about the fact that the French Lab mishandled the samples?”
Pound: “Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that’s even remotely true.”
Jeru: “Hmmm…okay then. But I recall there being some pretty serious issues regarding the chain of custody and labeling of the samples. Do you remember the specifics of this evidence and how it negatively portrays the labs responsible for the testing?”
Pound: “Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it.”
Jeru: “It seems pretty obvious that you don’t really care too much about the performance of the testing labs. Are you aware of how complicated the testing procedures are and how high the error margin is for much of the equipment being used?”
Pound: “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”
Jeru: “Okay, that wasn’t really an answer but…fair enough. No surprise there. So anyway, it seems that there would be some kind of opportunity for WADA to develop a closer relationship with the riders and cycling’s governing bodies such as the UCI and various national federations. Do you think more open communication between all interested parties would assist in the effort to establish clear standards and foster a sense of teamwork in the fight against doping?”
Pound: “The problem with the world today is communication. Too much communication.”
Jeru: “Interesting point there. So if communication is not the answer, then what are your thoughts on the potential benefit of creating a system to educate the riders and Anti-Doping Agency representatives about the testing procedures and analysis methods in an effort to help them understand the science behind the WADA Code?”
Pound: “How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?”
Jeru: “Ummm…no, I actually don’t remember that. Well, if better communication and education are not the answer, then what do you recommend to help bridge the gap in the relationship between the riders, the UCI and WADA?”
Pound: “Doughnuts. Is there anything they can’t do?”
Jeru: “Okay, now that didn’t make any sense at all. How many of those beers have you had, Dick? I thought Canadians were supposed to be big beer drinkers. We may need to cut you off.”
Pound: “Son, when you participate in sporting events, it’s not whether you win or lose: it’s how drunk you get.”
Jeru: “Now, that is something I would expect from a country famous for ice-related sports. I’m not sure how that plays in the cycling world though. Maybe cyclocross I guess. Speaking of which, what would you say to all of the Americans that just recently competed in the Cyclocross World Championships?”
Pound: “Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.”
Jeru: “Wow, that was kind of harsh. Are you sure that’s the best encouragement you can give? What happened to being an advocate for athletes and supporting healthy, fair competition?”
Pound: “If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing.”
Jeru: “So, how hard was it being Chairman of WADA? With all of the turmoil and public arguments over the last few years, it had to have been challenging to say the least. If it was so hard and you were not dedicated to the position, why didn’t you just quit a long time ago and save cycling fans the pain of listening to your hostility?”
Pound: “You don’t like your job, you don’t quit. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.”
The Canadian then went on a profanity-laden tirade about how “Americans” were largely responsible for the current dilemma of performance enhancing drug use in sports and should potentially be banned from the Olympics and other international events. The rant devolved into a number of slanderous comments about many prominent U.S. citizens including Lance Armstrong, Floyd Landis and even Oprah Winfrey for some reason. Dick Pound apparently has serious issues with Oprah.
Anyway, I considered attempting to explain that Canada is technically “America” too, but decided that I was better off ending the conversation there. After lying about my boarding time to San Jose to get away from him, the realization hit me that Dick Pound, whether you agreed with him or not, was a truly entertaining character during his time at WADA. Often inflammatory and insulting, but entertaining nonetheless. I think I will miss his clownishness.
Not to mention the fact that John Fahey (the new WADA chief) is nothing compared to Dick Pound in the comical name department. We will not likely see another Perfect Storm of name, demeanor and professional circumstances like Dick Pound’s reign at WADA in our lifetime. I guess you never know what you’ve got until it’s gone.
Just watch out for him at your local airport bar. He can get a little rowdy.
Messenger bags are everywhere these days. They are attractive to many different sorts, and lean heavily on the hipster side. Some bags are all “looks”, while others are all “tech”.
Crumpler makes cool bags that work.
I have been using Crumpler’s “The Complete Seed.” Now this is coming from someone that is sitting “bag heavy”(too many backpacks). I have always been more of the backpack kind of guy, and never really committed to the messenger bag with fear of having to get new clothes, or start up kit.
Backpacks seem easy to use, but the idea of dismounting and remounting without twisting ones shoulder and arm is kind of a turn-off. I don’t know how many times my right arm could not find its way into its strap due to the cumbersome nature of the backpack.
The Complete Seed is easy to use and nearly indestructible. The liner of the bag is made of rip stop nylon, which can’t be torn by either spiral notebooks or pencils. The outer shell is a durable water resistant nylon.
Securing a bag can be hard at times; however, this bag has an easy to use shoulder strap, that is adjustable, through its “Quick Flip” buckle. Once the bag is shouldered then the “Third Leg” strap secures the pouch into a sure spot. The sack’s contents will always remain safe. The top of the pack is fastened not only with two nylon straps; but, with three big , and ovalized velcro patches. Without the velcro, that some other messenger style bags don’t have; content seems to get lost. Nothing is going to escape the double hold of the “Complete Seed” no matter how big the fall, bounce, or tumble.
The Complete Seed has no padding inside, which makes the bag completely crushable. Crumpler does make padded inserts for computers and cameras. This is not a problem to most. I wrapped my Apple Powerbook G4 in a tee-shirt and slid it into the bag which was fine. I also don’t want a bag that takes up much space. Even though this sachel takes up little space, it holds up to 22 liters of space, which is enough to carry; well, anything worth carrying.
Stats: The latest version of Crumpler’s original CD3 messenger bag.
• Water resistant 1000D Nylon shell & 420D Ripstop Nylon lining
• 3x external pockets
• 3x internal front pockets
• Removable shoulder pad with “Third Leg” stability strap
• Clip & Velcro release flap
• Adjustable main strap w/ Quick Flick (TM) buckle and strap-trap accessory loop.
• Exactly 1 case/slab of beer.
• Use the main or side strap to attach an optional extra Thirsty Al mobile phone holder.
• Converts to photo/video equipment bag with optional extra Bucket BU-04A insert.
• Weeks tested: 6
• Retail Cost: $105
Trackback Thursday’s presents Claus Bech or “the two fingered author” a danish cyclist thats writes about his training lifestyle while staying in the luxurious foothills of Tucson.
The CaliRado Cyclist Boulder, Colorado
Colorado’s Wheat Ridge Cyclery, proudly owned and operated by the Kiefel clan since 1973, played host to a very interesting collection of personalities this past Saturday night in an effort to raise funds and awareness for the Tom Danielson Junior Racing Series and Project Rwanda.
Led by the dynamic duo of Michael Aisner and Bob Roll with help from the ever-cool Ron Kiefel, the event dubbed “Pro Night” boasted a packed lineup consisting of Danielson, Alison Dunlap, Ned Overend, Nelson Vails, Dr. Andy Pruitt, Danny Summerhill, Jock Boyer and the one and only Tom Ritchey.
Aisner and Roll got things started with a little banter about the programming choices made by the Versus network and the truly impressive beard that Bob has been cultivating in the off-season. Granted, Wheat Ridge is pretty close to Boulder but the general consensus was that the Killing Shows have got to go. Unfortunately it seems that Bob does not have a lot of clout when it comes to programming at VS. Anyway, Aisner has always been a great showman and Roll is always far more entertaining in person (not to mention…huge. Bobke must have been lifting over the winter ’cause the Guns were blazing) so it was pretty cool to have both men behind the microphone for the evening.
The surprise guest of the night was Steve Johnson, the CEO of USA Cycling who made the short drive up from Colorado Springs with his wife and gave a somewhat critical presentation of the Beijing Olympic preparations. Aside from determining that Johnson is a pretty typical CEO (take that however you want) and thinking it was somewhat ironic that the Floyd Landis Fairness Folks had their event at WRC just a few months ago, I was left with the understanding that the road events will be exceedingly difficult due to both the terrain and pollution, the velodrome is nice and the BMX venue is freaking awesome.
It was also fairly obvious that Mr. Johnson was significantly less than enthused about the way the Chinese delegation was interacting with the participating countries. I can see where he was coming from but I did find it odd that he chose to be quite so open about his dissatisfaction with them. I don’t think that Johnson portrayed the situation too poorly but I hope the US riders don’t get short-changed because of politics. “Oh, sorry we forgot the air conditioner for your warm-up tent in this 95 degree, 98 percent humidity weather…but your leader has been saying bad things about us.”
After Johnson was done showing slides of the Beijing smog and the garbage dump/mountain bike venue, Alison Dunlap took the stage as the lone female personality of the evening. Staying busy in her post-career life, I imagine Dunlap is quite pleased that she will not have to compete in the Cross Dump (not Country) event at the Olympics this year. Although she did remind everyone that the riders make the race, not the course. True…but that XC venue is heinous right now. You can’t sugarcoat some things.
Next up was the truly cool Nelson Vails, the only attendee rocking a full suit. As part of the intro, they showed the 1984 Olympic Sprint Finals between Vails and Mark Gorski which I hadn’t seen before. I am not exaggerating when I say that each of Nelson’s thighs was thicker than my waist. It was actually kind of frightening watching him on the bike because it seemed like the frame was going to snap underneath him. Then they showed some sweet old commercials that he had done which I would like to see on YouTube in the near future. Excellent stuff if you can locate it. The Ray Ban ad in particular was classic.
After Nelson, they introduced Danny Summerhill and Ned Overend to highlight the past/present and future/present of the sport of bike racing. I include “present” for both guys because, despite their ages, these two can hang with just about anyone out there today. Summerhill seems like a good kid despite having gone to Cherry Creek High School (the hated, hated CCHS) and Overend just simply rules.
One of the funnier moments came when Aisner followed up Overend’s comment about believing you can win with his own story of Alexi Grewal intimidating some poor Dutch racer in the Coors Classic and “Beating them before the race even started.” Those familiar with the two Colorado racing legends couldn’t help but laugh when the unfailingly polite and reserved Overend replied, “Yeah, Alexi and I kind of had a different approach.”
Tom Danielson was next up to the plate and was his consistent, well-spoken self. While he may not be the most dynamic personality in the world, it’s tough to argue with the efforts he has made to give something back to the sport off the bike. I don’t know of many other pros giving out scholarships and backing an entire state-wide Junior Racing series. Good job TD. Now forget the Lance-Nike-PR training, let your hair down and get to the Tour already.
At this point, the vibe shifted a little bit as the uber-mellow Tom Ritchey took the stand to talk about Project Rwanda. Although you will not get the full effect of Ritchey’s world-class handlebar mustache and serene thoughtfulness in person, please take the time to visit the Project Rwanda website for more information about this very worthy cause. The mission of “Using the Bicycle as a Tool and Symbol of Hope” should be enough to get anyone passionate about the benefits of The Bike to find out more about how a project like this can truly make a difference in the lives of those who see the bicycle as a functional vehicle instead of a recreational toy. I cannot do the effort justice in this format so please take the time to learn more about it from the source. In case you missed the link earlier, here is the exact address:
At some point in the near future I will write more about Ritchey and a few of the other MTB Fathers from the Bay Area that I have been fortunate enough to get to know and work with over the years. Granted, I am a little biased toward these guys but I am also continually impressed with their contributions and advocacy outside the ropes of the racing scene.
But getting back to the racing element, Ritchey and Aisner then introduced Jock Boyer, who has taken on the role of director and coach for a group of Rwandan racers. Now, Boyer occupies an interesting place in cycling history but it could be argued that few individuals would be better suited to bring a nation of inexperienced racers up to speed in the sport than the first American to race in the Tour de France. And most importantly, even fewer would be willing to make such an effort. In this respect, the fact that Boyer has gone as far as spending over half the year in Rwanda is a testament to his belief in the cause and dedication to helping his riders develop and see the world.
The evening concluded with the auction of a bike designed by Tom Ritchey to help with the transportation of up to hundreds of pounds of goods. Built for durability with a long rack in the rear, the machine isn’t going to be breaking any land speed records but is apparently critical to the timely delivery and transportation of coffee, which has become a major source of economic development in Rwanda. A number of people bid on the bike but it ended up staying in the Wheat Ridge Cyclery after being bought by the Kiefels. That seemed like the right thing.
Actually, there was a raffle that followed the auction and despite the fact that they gave away about a thousand different things, somehow C-Mac and I did not get anything. Oh well, we were certainly rewarded with an entertaining and educational evening that helped support some very worthy causes. Nothing wrong with that and yet another confirmation of why we are so fortunate to live in the CO.
Most Diverse, Accomplished Field Ever Assembled for a Race on U.S. Soil to Compete in February 17-24 Stage Race
LOS ANGELES, January 17, 2008 – A world-class field of 17 domestic and international cycling teams set to compete in the 2008 Amgen Tour of California was announced by AEG, owners and presenters of the upcoming cycling road race. Team CSC, the world’s No. 1-ranked cycling team; 2007 Amgen Tour of California winner Levi Leipheimer’s new team, Astana; and Health Net presented by Maxxis, winner of USA Cycling’s 2007 National Race Calendar, will lead some of the world’s top cycling teams in the third annual race. The 650-mile, eight-day stage race, modeled after the Tour de France and considered to be the most important and popular race held on U.S. soil, will take the world’s top professional cycling teams from Palo Alto-Stanford University to Pasadena from February 17-24.
The 2008 Amgen Tour of California roster includes the following 17 professional cycling teams:
“The success of the Amgen Tour of California over the past two years has created a very positive reputation among the professional cycling community, which has helped to ensure the high level of competition that people have come to expect from our race,” said Kristin Bachochin, senior director of AEG Sports, presenter of the race. “This year, we designed an even more challenging course and secured an incredible line-up of teams that promise to keep the level of excitement high for the fans and riders alike.”
Split between teams who compete on the UCI Pro Tour and those who race predominately in the United States, the field of 136 athletes will be one of the most diverse, accomplished groups of cyclists ever assembled for a stage race in the U.S.
“Even though the new Astana Cycling Team is making its U.S. racing debut, we are bringing numerous riders who have found success on U.S. soil in the past,” said Philippe Maertens, spokesman for the Astana Cycling Team. “The riders are excited to begin the season in California and are motivated to help Levi Leipheimer defend his Amgen Tour of California title.”
Along with Pro Tour teams, the growing class of top domestic teams will be represented by return competitors Health Net Pro Cycling Team Presented by Maxxis, Toyota-United Pro Cycling Team, Jelly Belly Cycling Team and Bissell Pro Cycling Team, and new competitors Rock Racing and Kelly Benefit Strategies/Medifast.
“The Jelly Belly Cycling Team is very excited about being selected by the Amgen Tour of California to participate in this year’s event,” said Danny Van Haute, manager of the Jelly Belly Cycling Team. “This will be Jelly Belly’s ninth season in the cycling community. The team is looking forward to the competition.”
Several of the 17 professional cycling teams will hold their pre-season training camps in California, which will give residents throughout the state an opportunity to watch these elite athletes prepare for the top professional cycling race in the United States.
For more information about the teams competing in the 2008 Amgen Tour of California, please visit www.amgentourofcalifornia.com.
In 2008, Missing Saddle is expanding the insider news we bring to you. Based on the feedback from our user survey, we’re planning feature articles, interviews, and more of the content that you’ve asked for. If you’re interested in helping us by writing articles, providing video, audio or images, feel free to get in touch with us at contribute@missingsaddle.com. We’re interested in local and national contributors.
Please Include your blog if you have one!
Thoughts from Mike Jones, Formally known as SOPRO Jones
this story is fictional, it did actually happen, but in my bed, in my head in my dream. Its true i dream of michael ball. I actually am a fan of Michael Ball and his team, i have trouble finding people as fond of the F word as I am. So just in case there is any misunderstanding, this story is pretty much fictional, but like i said, happened to me in during my last sleep episode. In the case that any young kids read this article, like jeremy powers, i have changed the F word to hump. so from here on out hump= the f word. Ok, now on to my humpin dream.
the dream took place at a coffee shop here In binghamton NY last week while Michael Ball was here for the fourth annual Fancy Pants convention. Michael agreed to meet with me since i am friends with his third cousin Bryce Mead. It was a brief interview but long enough to make me admire this man more, which could possibly lead to some more dreams.
ME: Hi Mr. Ball, its a pleasure to meet you, let me start by saying I am a huge fan of you and the team. I think its great that you are stirring up the sport and mixing things up a little bit..
MB: What the hump, do you have questions or are you just going to kiss my ass?
ME: Ok, so my first question is Why Cycling? what do you have to gain from sponsoring cycling?
MB: have you ever been to a race? Take a look around these guys arent cool, the typical cyclist has no sense of style. There are some cool pro’s, and i have tried my best to hire them. But your average Non Pro cyclist is my target market. Why would I sponsor a band, or motorcyclists or a hockey team? Those guys are cool, they prolly already own sick jeans like mine. Cycling has so much room for improvement. If I was a contractor and I had this beautiful new siding to market, would i go to a new developement of homes? no i would go to houses that are in desperate need of a makeover. If I have my way, cycling will be a cool fashionable humpin sport when i am done.
ME: So, how bout Doug Ollerenshaw? how do you see him fitting in on your diverse team?
MB: Doug. Doug is one mother humping bad dude. I mean, hes not super bad like Kayle, but he knows his shit. I wasnt sure what his place would be on the team until recently when I made the bold claim that I was going to make better wheels than HED. So, now i know where doug comes in. Doug is a mechanical engineer so i sent an email to my assistant to forward it to doug and in that email i said clearly “make fast sick wheels or your humpin fired”. So Dougs orders are to stop training and make fast wheels.
ME: Where is clinger? I humpin love Clinger, i wish i had the balls to tat up my face, but i dont. Why did you hire Clinger in the first place?
MB: If clinger isnt humpin Hollywod, what is? next question.
ME: Ok, you didnt happen to be a spectator at the 2006 Edition of the McClane Pacific critierium did you?
MB: HUMP NO
ME: Well, listen, I know you are a busy man, who is manning the Rock and Republic booth at the Fancy Pants show?
MB: Creed
ME: So, what the story with the word on the street that you are in Talks with Dennis Rodman for the team, whats the story with that?
MB: well thats complicated, my controller, who was supposed to register us with the UCI made a mistake and registered us with the International Basketball Association. So, I contacted Dennis Rodman, we are very good friends, we give each other advice, I only ever met him once, but we have become good friends, and I extended an invitation to our team camp, and since this goof, i have added him to our team. The IBA said that we cant particpate in any NBA events, but thats bullshit, We have DENNIS RODMAN, we will play in the NBA, and you know what? if they say we cant? I will start my own NBA, and Ill make higher hoops and Bigger Balls.
ME: so, are you a cycling team or not?
MB: Thats complicated as well, we arent really sure what we are, i cant ask my controller what we are, cuz he is fired, well i am assuming he is guy since i have never had direct contact with him. But whatever we are if Velonews keeps calling and asking dumb questions, ill keep giving them outrageous answers. And if we are on the start line of the firs NBA calendar race this year you’ll have the answer to this question, but for now,Ive got jeans to sell so i gotta get the hump out of here and you should go hump yourself.
ME: Hump, you are the man, keep it coming, and good luck in whatever your team gets licensed to compete in this year.
From Binghamton,
Mike Jones
The CaliRado Cyclist Boulder, Colorado
January 10, 2008 - Los Angeles, CA
At a press conference held on a fashion show runway in Los Angeles, controversial professional cycling team Rock Racing announced the signing of Jose Canseco, Michael Vick and Osama Bin Laden to its roster for the 2008 season.
Team owner Michael Ball (aka John Kreese or “The Guy”) began the event by grabbing the microphone amid rock music and flashing strobe lights and yelling “Are you ready to f***ing rock?!?! We got some baaad motherf***ers in the house today!!”
The stunned and usually reserved group of cycling journalists remained silent and just looked around at each other as Ball continued to yell obscenities at them in an effort to “make this sport f***ing cool, man.”
“Okay, I’m here to announce that Rock Racing has added some serious badasses to the team. In addition to the recent signings of Sevilla, Botero and Hamilton – I got some hardcore dudes to back them up now and take some of the heat off” explained Ball to the confused crowd.
“You see, I’m all about giving people a chance, man” he continued. “And these cats have gotten a bad rap lately, you know? So I just want to prove that Rock Racing is all about giving people opportunities. Admitted steroid user? That’s cool. Convicted felon who murdered dogs? Hell yeah man, we got room for you. Terrorist mastermind and global threat? Sh**, you know that dude will bring some crazy publicity. Sign ‘em up!”
Ball then began to field questions by asking “Any of you motherf***ers got a problem with any of this s**t?”
Clearly nervous, a visibly uncool reporter stepped up to the microphone and asked why the team was hiring so many controversial figures.
“Like I said, these guys all just got a bad rap along the way somehow. Hiring the troubled racers was a no-brainer but I knew people would give me hard time about the non-cyclists like Canseco, Vick and Bin Laden. Especially Vick…people really like dogs. The other guys aren’t that bad though” said the founder of the Rock & Republic denim company.
“The team and I have been catching a lot of heat lately for some of the moves we’ve been making so I wanted to bring in some guys that really know something about cultivating an awful reputation. As with everything I do, it’s all about being extreme so I had to find the absolute best of the worst. And I think I hit it out of the park with Canseco, Vick and OBL, as I like to call him. You cannot find three guys with more combined ill will than these dudes. Trust me, I looked.”
At this point, Ball allowed recently signed Jose Canseco to make a brief statement. It should be noted that only Canseco was present at the announcement as Vick is currently behind bars and Bin Laden is often somewhat reclusive.
“I am really happy to be a part of the Rock Racing team. Michael Ball has been a friend of mine since back in the days when I could afford $400 jeans and it’s nice to be involved with a guy that I have so much in common with. It has been said that I am somewhat polarizing as well and I hope that my terrible reputation will soften some of the scrutiny being directed at some of the other members of our team” explained the former baseball player and steroid user.
“Plus, I can carry Oscar Sevilla and Tyler Hamilton with one arm and Santiago Botero with the other if the press gets a little rowdy or they need some security. I dated Madonna for a while so I know a thing or two about how to handle the paparazzi.”
Sensing that his new hire was on the verge of seeming somewhat helpful and sympathetic, Ball quickly took the microphone and began to address some other issues with Vick and Bin Laden, whom he admitted had far worse reputations than Canseco.
“I’m not sure how much racing Vick and OBL are going to be able to do this year but they will be integral parts of our team. If anything, these guys make me and the Operacion Puerto guys look like Mother Theresa. It may be a little hard for OBL to provide his whereabouts to the drug testers all the time but that’s cool. I dare those WADA vampires to find my boy out there for a random test” explained the heavily gelled and tanned fashion designer.
Anyway, I have so much money that I can pay off any fines or whatever. I’ll just buy the Doping Agencies if I have to and make them cooler. That’s what it’s all about, man. Making things that rock and are f***ing cool!!”
Ball then wrapped up the event by having Canseco model the new Rock Racing team kit for 2008 which consisted of a bedazzled denim vest with snaps and cut-off jean shorts.
Thoughts from Mike Jones, Formally known as SOPRO Jones
_______________________________________________
BISSELL PRO CYCLING TEAM
Director: Glen Mitchell
(AUS) ENGLAND, Richard
(USA) HOWARD, Graham
(USA) HOWARD, Steven
(USA) JACQUES-MAYNES, Ben
(USA) KEM, Omer
(USA) KING, Edward
(USA) OLSON, Aaron
(USA) PELTONEN, Garrett
(USA) SCHMITT, Morgan
(USA) SWINDLEHURST, Burke
(NZL) VENNELL, Jeremy
(USA) ZIRBEL, Tom
(USA) ZWIZANSKI, Scott
Ben Jacques-Maynes will have a solid year and Garrett Peltonen will have some good rides and make some serious selections by humping his saddle. Burke Swindlhurst will win Gila. Tom Zirbel will be top three in a few NRC time trials. Scott Swizanski will have a good Philly Week. Aaron Olson is a nice addition to this team, a nice guy and an all around good ride. I could see him winning stages at some of the bigger stage-races and could be in a lot of breaks.
COLAVITA OLIVE OIL/ SUTTER HOME PRO CYCLING TEAM
Director: Sebastian Alexandre
(ARG) ARTACHO, Gustavo
(CUB) AMARAN, Luis
(ARG) BORRAJO, Alejandro
(ARG) BORRAJO, Anibal
(USA) BROWN, Tucker
(USA) COLBY, Anthony
(ITA) DAMIANI,Luca
(ITA) FRATTINI, Davide
(USA) GUPTILL, Andy
(ARG) HAEDO, Lucas
(USA) SANTIAGO, Rodney
(USA) WAMSLEY, Kyle
(USA) WREN, Tyler
I really don’t have too much to say about this team. I was a bigger fan when the McCormacks were involved. Davide will have some sporadic good rides, Colby and Wamsley will continue to think they’re big deals and not much English will be spoken in the team van.
DLP Racing
Director: Jon Kane
(USA) BEAMER, Spencer
(USA) CODDINGTON, Joey
(USA) DULIN, Thaddeus
(USA) JACKSON, Scott
(USA) JOHNSON, Boyd
(USA) JUDY, Christopher
(USA) NIELSEN, Owen
(USA) PENDRY, Charles
(USA) ROSEBROCK, Geoffrey
Judge Judy will top the Nielsen ratings and buy a new Beamer from Janet Jackson.
HEALTHNET
Director: Mike Tamayo
(USA) CRANE, Matt
(USA) COLLIER, Corey
(USA) COOKE, Matt
(USA) GRITTERS, Kyle
(USA) JOHNSON, Tim
(USA) KILUN, Roman
(AUS) MENZIES, Karl
(USA) MURPHY, John
(USA) O’BEE, Kirk
(USA) PIPP, Frank
(AUS) SUTHERLAND, Rory
(USA) ZAJICEK, Phil
Will the team succeed without Corbett? I know Jeff likes Tamayo a lot, and must have faith in him to turn over the team to him, which by the way is a lot smaller this year. If they chase NRC points in hopes of having gay shirts that say 5X NRC, that may stretch them too thin and they may crack . Will Tim Johnson ever take a break from cycling? I see Roman Kilun having some great rides, lots of potential there, but how long will it be before he starts using his law degree and quits banging his head against the wall? John Murphy, nice kid and lots of potential, without such a smaller team will he be able to show his stuff a bit more? Menzies, i predict by July, he will have 4 NRC victories and will have eaten Cooke, Crane and maybe a couple mechanics. Pipp will keep padding his resume as he gets more experience on a big team with solid support. Will Matt Cooke get over himself?
JELLY BELLY CYCLING TEAM
(D.S.Danny Van Haute)
(USA) CODY, Michael
(USA) HUFF, Brad
(USA) LANGE, Michael
(USA) MEAD, Bryce
(USA) POWERS, Jeremy
(USA) REISTAD, Nick
(AUS) RICE, Matty
(AUS) SANDERSON, Nic
(USA) TIETZEL, Scott
(NZL) TUCKERMAN, Aaron
(USA) VAN ULDEN, Bernard
(USA) WELLS, Todd
Will Michael Lange ever see eye to eye with Bryce Mead? How many times will Jeremy Powers get sick? Nick will get in a break at the Tour of California. Matty Rice will have a GREAT year. Michael Cody will annoy Powers and they will bicker. Danny Van Haute AKA “The Beast” will continue to be one of the greatest guys in the sport. Give Jelly Belly a cheer at the next race, as they are the longest running active pro sponsor in cycling.
JITTERY JOE’S PRO CYCLING TEAM
(Director: Jesse Lawler)
(USA) ELKEN, Evan
(USA) BARRILLEAUX, Jared
(AUS) CANTWELL, Jonathan
(USA) HARTLEY, Chad
(USA) HENRY, Timothy
(USA) KNELLER, Ben
(USA) SHIRLEY, Neil
(USA) SHRIVER, Matt
(AUS) STEVENSON, Cody
(AUS) SULLIVAN, Ryan
(AUS) WILSON, Trent
I really don’t know too many guys on this team. But, Neil Shirley is a great guy and will have a good year. Will the Aussies every do anything memorable?
KELLY BENEFIT STRATEGIES/MEDIFAST
(Director: Jonas Carney)
(USA) BOWMAN, Dan
(USA) BAJADALI, Andrew
(USA) BUCHHOLZ, Brian
(USA) CANDELARIO, Alex
(CAN) GILBERT, Martin
(CAN) HINNEN, Mark
(USA) KING, Ben
(CAN) LACOMBE, Keven
(USA) MUMFORD, Reid
(USA) SPINELLI, Justin
(USA) SUNDT Jonny
(CAN) VEILLEUX, David
(USA) WAITE, Nick
This is going to be a solid team. Jonas can really rally these guys together. Just look back at the pro crits. Sundt is a funny guy and will keep moral high. Alex will get some nice wins, as I know Jonas will get the guys set up to bring him to the line first. The Baj will be intense and evict roommates, if they are up after lights out and will probably win the hardest race on earth: The Tri Peaks Race in Arkansas.
RITE AID PRO CYCLING
(Director: Jonathan Wirsing)
(USA) ARNAL, Alvaro
(USA) BARROWS, Clayton
(USA) ELLISTON, William
(USA) ERDELYI, Jonathan
(GER) GENG, Richard
(USA) KINCAID, Stephen
(USA) KING, Robert
(USA) LEA, Robert
(ARG) PALMA, Guido
(USA) RYTLEWSKI, Jake
(NZL) WATSON, Miles
Is Jonathan Erdelyi really racing again? Other than that, I don’t really know anyone else.
ROCK RACING
Director: TBA
(USA) BAHATI, Rahsaan
(COL) BOTERO, Santiago
(USA) CREED, Michael
(AUS) DAWSON, Peter
(COL) GRAJALES, Cesar
(USA) HERNANDEZ, Sergio
(USA) LEO GRANDE, Kayle
(USA) MAGNELL, Sterling
(USA) OLLERENSHAW, Doug
(COL) PENA, Victor Hugo
(USA) RODRIGUEZ, Fred
(USA) SWITTERS, Adam
(USA) WILLIAMS, Justin
(USA) WISCOVICH, Jeremiah
Oh, yeah! I am so f’in excited about this team. I love how Michael Ball is stirring things up. I mean, seriously, cyclist’s need to lighten up and turn this sport into a traveling party where we light up the town and rip up the pavement. I am surprised Doug Ollerenshaw went there. In my book, he doesn’t seem to fit in. But, who knows? WHERE IS CLINGER? I WANT CLINGER! I bet the big Euro guys will crack after Cali when they realize nobody comes out to races.
SUCCESSFUL LIVING
(Director: Steve Hegg)
(ITA) BAZZANA, Alessandro
(USA) BENNETT, Eric
(USA) BISKNER, Nieko
(USA) COYLE, Charles
(CAN) DIONNE, Charles
(ARG) ESCUELA, Ricardo
(USA) GRABINGER, Michael
(USA) GUNN, Robert
(USA) JENSEN, Brian
(USA) MARTINEZ, Alexi
(USA) O’REILLY, Cody
(MEX) VALENZUELA, Christian
(USA) WHITE, Bradley
I am not too sure about this team. I haven’t liked their tactics in the past, maybe it’s just how Tricky Ricky rides, but they seem like good guys. Is Nieko really racing or is he a Casper?
TIME PRO CYCLING
(Director: Erik Saunders)
(USA) BAKER, Andy
(USA) BARLEVAV, Erik
(USA) DUNCAN, David
(USA) FREY, Nick
(USA) GRUBER, Jered
(USA) GUTTENPLAN, David
(USA) HAMBLEN, Johnny
(USA) MYERSON, Adam
(USA) RAMSEY, Daniel
(USA) SIMES, Jackie
(USA) SOLADAY, Thomas
(USA) STOOP, Michael
Oh man, Hamblen….it must be that year again, every other year he turns pro and pisses a bunch of people off then goes amateur till it cools off.
TEAM TYPE 1
(D.S.Ed Beamon)
(TRI) ABRAHAM, Emile
(MEX) ALDAPE, Moises
(USA) ANTHONY, Jesse
(AUS) BROOKS, Ben
(AUS) CALABRIA, Fabio
(NZL) CHADWICK, Glen
(USA) ELDRIDGE, Joe
(NZL) HARGRAVE, Timothy
(USA) HOLT, Daniel
(USA) JONES, Chris
(UKR) KOBZARENKO, Valeriy
(USA) MACGREGOR, Ian
(USA) MILNE, Shawn
(USA) SOUTHERLAND, Phil
(AUS) WILSON, Matt
Ian MacGregor doesn’t fit in on this team. Chris Jones should have a good year, although racing as part of a team will be new to him and racing with the Navigators might be different to him too.
TOSHIBA-AEG
(D.S. Gustavo Carrillo)
(COL) ALZATE, CARLOS
(ARG) ARONE, Claudio
(CUB) FALCON, Yosvany
(USA) HAGMAN, Alex
(USA) HEKMAN, Mark
(USA) KEIM, Eric
(AUS) NANKERVIS, Tommy
(USA) NORRIS, Keith
(COL) PARRA, John Freddy
(SCG) PROKIC, Predrag
(USA) SWEETING, Robert
(USA) TALANSKY, Andrew
(CUB) TRAVIESO, Frank
(USA) VAILLANCOURT, Daniel
(USA) WEISS, Scott
(USA) DAVID, Winston
I like Mark Hekman, i wish he went to a different team cuz this team just kind of blows.
TOYOTA - UNITED PRO CYCLING TEAM
(Director: Len Pettyjohn)
(USA) BALDWIN, Chris
(USA) BARCZEWSKI, Ben
(USA) BETCHER, Derrek
(NZL) BLACKGROVE, Heath
(AUS) CLARKE, Hilton
(AUS) CLARKE, Jonathan
(AUS) DAY, Benjamin
(CUB) DOMINGUEZ, Ivan
(USA) ENGLAND, Justin
(USA) FERGUSON, Walker
(MEX) GARCIA PONCE, Jose Manuel
(USA) GILLESPIE, Stu
(USA) LAKATOSH, Andy
(AUS) MANION, Caleb
(USA) NELMAN, Ryan
(USA) RIFFLE, Duncan
(CAN) ROLLIN, Dominique
(USA) SELKER, Kevin
(USA) SHANBHAG, Sanjay
(SCG) STEVIC, Ivan
(AUS) SULLIVAN, Sean
(AUS) VOGELS, Henk
(USA) WHERRY, Chris
This is probably my favorite team here. I like Dominguez, Vogels, Wherry, Baldwin and England. And I think all those guys will have great years, especially Vogels and Wherry. Stu Gillespie will win Redlands and Andy Lakatosh will win Philly. This team will have many laughs and will be tactically on par as the smartest man in cycling is behind the scenes- Moninger.
Some other predictions for the upcoming season:
•A big Race will be cancelled,
•Somebody will get busted for doping, and somebody will win something big, and somebody will think they are a doper.
•Justin Englands body weight will be 56% of mine.
•Mike Sayers will get excited about something and yell.
•At least two big names coming here will leave after Tour of Cali when they find out how small cycling is here.
•Velonews will do several articles on riders living in Boulder, they will give the cover to a doper.
•Cyclingnews.com Writer Mark Zalewski will write an article about a Kiwi or Aussie and use his nickname and write an article with aussie’isms thinking he is one.
•Dave Towle will know everyone’s names.
•Sea otter will award the winner of the men’s pro road race 2 dollars and a stuffed sea otter and some BMX handle grips.
•Michael Ball will say something to piss cycling dorks off.
•Michael Ball will say something that makes me like him more.
•Gord Fraser will win the shootout.
Now lets go over some things I won’t be doing:
•Eating salads.
•Riding over 20 minutes.
•Getting drunk in hotel lobbies and then racing the next morning.
•Taking an Ambien and trying to crawl into bed with Moninger in the middle of the night.
•Pretending I like some people
•Beating my head against the wall.
•Sleeping on a flat air mattress at host housing
•Hanging with guys like Candelario, Moninger, Schmatz, Brice Jones, Bryce Mead, Sayers and that I will miss the most.
It has been over 4 months since I touched a bike and for some reason in another 8 months it will be a year since I touched a bike. Did I crack that bad or did I just never like it? 
Sometimes I think that it was just the recipe missing some key elements, such as: 1. recreational mountain biker with a suspended license, a high hematocrit, strong legs and the willingness to see how far he can take anything. and BAM, that’s what you get, ME! The key element was the fact that I like to eat pizza and I was by far not mentally talented for the sport of cycling. I had several other key components, but not the right mix, and if you think I am a waste of talent, well, then you can go F yourself, several of us are probably very gifted talented crossing guards, but if you don’t want to be a crossing guard, well that’s it then, you are not going to be a crossing guard.
I am really looking forward to the season ahead, and if Michael Ball pisses you off, let it be known, write a letter somewhere, because I have a feeling as soon as people are done complaining about him, he will be done with the sport and well have a bunch of unemployed skinny guys with expensive genes, I mean jeans.
Jones.
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