I were a dude sometimes. Specifically one of these guys-

Jon Fox Hamblen-
He’s the most tallest, darkest, handsomest guy I know(sorry Fetty).
He took me to my first NASCAR race and we almost got arrested for doing doughnuts in the pristine grass of Lowe’s Motor Speedway. Or this one time he jumped a Porsche with the adult sized trike he built. Good times! Also, he’s half girl on his mom’s side and wears child sized clothing. I have his phone number actually… (p.s. congrats to the Hamblens on the new baby boy!)

Mike Jones-
Former cyclist, full time smart ass.
I’ve never met Mike, only heard of the legend of his smart assedness from Hamblen. Like the time he weed wacked poison ivy for 5hrs at the STC and almost died due to severe allergy to said plant. Or the fact that if his meal isn’t cooked properly he’ll walk back into the kitchen of the restaurant and demand it be recooked while he watches. He has his own episode of Cribs, for God’s sake!
Sadly, I’m pretty sure he’d hate me if we ever met since I’m not that cool. And I have tattoos. Apparently he frowns on that. Or so I’ve heard…

Lyle Lovett-
The hair, the voice, the swagger. He’s Lyle. Nuff said.